It’s here. Every year I write an annual list of things that don’t (or shouldn’t) matter heading into the new year. The 2013 and 2014 lists had ten things – but given the shrinking attention span of the universe, I’ve cut it to seven.
#7 Protein Shakes
I’m going to anger a lot of giant-shaky-cup people that consume this oft stinky drink with zeal but let’s be honest, there are a thousand-million protein shakes to choose from – because they are good business. People are always looking for the magic bullet to lose weight, get trim, feel great and this “nutritionally balanced” drink with a flip lid seems like the perfect answer. So when I get asked, “What kind of protein drink should I buy?” My answer is, “What ever one makes you happy” but I caution you, don’t buy one that make your farts smell like a corpse and don’t leave your almost empty shaker in the car on a hot day.
It’s hard to argue over the effectiveness of a social media company that has 200 million profiles, but does anyone use it for more than checking up on exes? I predict that best way to find new work will not be online, but in line. The new year will find more people creating business opportunities by talking to actual people, meeting them in person, maybe even closing the deal with a handshake.
#5 Extreme Mothering
Tiger Mom vs Free Range Mom; Unschooling Mom vs Academia Mom; Moms That Drink and Swear vs Attachment Parenting styles are at extreme ends of the pendulum. Yes, I drink, and yes I’ve been known to swear but I also spend quality time with my kids and sometimes I keep them home from school to give them an ‘experience day’. Like most moms, I fall somewhere in the middle. Giving my kids the occasional participation ribbon mixed with some hard-knocks tough love seems to work – so stop worrying if you are doing it right – your kids will still grow up and say you ruined some part of their life anyway.
#4 Cable Television
If you dream of the day that Rogers and Bell meet Satan in customer service hell, then as trends go, getting rid of your cable TV and your land line might just make it happen. With services like TekSavvy and Magic Jack, people are finally getting smarter about finding ways to get what they need. Not only will old-style cable TV not matter, eventually it won’t exist. It will be pay as you play from here on out.
Yah, here’s the thing, they’re not super foods, they’re just food. Last year it was Kale and Quinoa, this year it’s Chia seeds and Goji berries; two new super foods that won’t make a difference in your life unless you also stop eating potato chips. I know I sound like a grumpy old man form the Muppets balcony, but come on. There isn’t a magic superfood that will save you from ill health, obesity or thigh chaff. There are just real foods that you should eat. And then you should go for a walk.
#2 Charger Plates
If you don’t know what these are then congratulations, you are exempt from this category. Charger Plates are decorative plates that go under your dinner plate. A plate that holds your other plate. And while a charger plate isn’t going to make or break the world, they are a symptom of a bigger problem; our continued obsession with ‘stuff’. From excessive number of shoes to collections of seasonal tea towels, we are all guilty to some level of stuff addiction. Please, let 2015 be the year without charger plates.
Drum roooooooooollll please. The number one thing, that doesn’t matter in 2015 is:
#1 What other people think.
I bet you thought it would be different this year, Sorry no. It still doesn’t matter what other people think, so go ahead and cleanse your colon, swig protein drinks like life elixirs, collect 2,000,000 social media friends, parent like a panther, eat cape wearing foods, watch TV like you live in the 90’s and decorate your table like a Christmas tree because the number one thing, that doesn’t matter in 2015 – is what other people think – including me.
In 2015 continue to find your own happiness – let your heart and your passions be your guide. If it matters to you, then dive in, enjoy, and remember that life is about those great moments both big and small that make you pause, and remember what’s important.
Hugs and love my friends – Happy Slice Everyone.
(Want more? Find my book A Slice of Happy ~ Because the Whole Pie is Overrated here.)